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badparents

Funny badparenting

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May. 15th, 2008 | 08:47 am
posted by: sprtwrid in badparents

So, after my break down in yesterdays post, I decided I should post a funny one. My son has an obsession with his belly button. Its an innie/outie which basically means sometimes it sticks out, but other times its flat.Anyhow, its been a running joke that he will eat until his "timer" pops. He will eat so much at one time, that his belly button pops out. Recently when he started going on a food strike, I made the joke that he couldnt get up from the table until his timer popped. So now, at every meal he will ask about every three bite "my timer pop yet?" It took me a day before i realized what he was asking (he has a weird accent like me, but I have a hard time when other people share my accent).

It doesnt take much food to make it pop out (maybe a few bites under the typical serving size) but I feel bad making him eat until his "timer pops". The waitress at the restaurant gave me the funniest look when he lifted his shirt and asked her if his timer was done. I had to explain that hes asking if he ate enough, and she just laughed and said it was a good idea.

What strange things have your kids said to strangers that caused a head slap moment for you?
edit: fixed some of my typos :P

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Comments {17}

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sprtwrid

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from: sprtwrid
date: May. 15th, 2008 01:13 pm (UTC)
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haha my son had that problem yesterday morning. He stood there and just kept saying "it dont work, it broke momma... momma it not work. Oh i bixed it (he cant say his f's which has gotten me in trouble a million times). Look momma, i make bubbles!"

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Jessica

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from: lower_class
date: May. 15th, 2008 01:30 pm (UTC)
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One night I was watching a scary movie with my partner after the kids went to bed. They were being crazy in their room, so I went in to calm them down. They wanted to come out and sit with us, but it was too late. They said "what you watching" and I said "daddy and I are watching a grownup movie".

So the next day my 5 year old goes to school and during her show and tell time, happens to mention how Mommy and Daddy watch adults movies "like everyday". We got a nice email from her teacher about that one.

I also will ask my kids if they want a beating and they giggle and say yeah. A "beating" is me tickling them and rolling around with them. Just playing you know? Alex, the oldest, told her teacher that we like to beat all the kids a lot.

One time we were playing really loud with the kids....hey there was no one else in the apartment building, we were taking advantage of having noone above us or below us....and someone heard us all screaming, we were having a contest, so they called the cops thinking something was wrong. The cop shows up, hears us all screaming and asks the kids if everything was okay and my 4 year old says "yeah mommy was just beating us again".

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sprtwrid

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from: sprtwrid
date: May. 15th, 2008 08:32 pm (UTC)
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hehe, some of that i remember pulling on my parents. "beatings" here are a tickle/pinch/wrestling thing. The kids will walk up slow, then i scare them by tickling, then they try to run away before i knock them down. That should bring some laughs in the future.

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Strork the Rhinoceros

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from: androktone
date: May. 15th, 2008 01:49 pm (UTC)
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My 6 year old son does the same thing - if he really gorges himself his belly button pops out - it's the cutest thing :)

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Wendy

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from: arianllynn
date: May. 15th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
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My 2-year old once pointed to a woman in Target and said, "Grandma!"

The woman had to be in her early 40s. She looked at me and asked, "Do I look THAT old?"

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sprtwrid

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from: sprtwrid
date: May. 15th, 2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
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my mom was 40 when my son was born :P Actually all of the grand parents are in their early 40s still (42-44, lol)

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Siercia

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from: siercia
date: May. 15th, 2008 02:36 pm (UTC)
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Hee. These are great.

I tend to be a little... melodramitic at times, and it's not uncommon for me to say that something I don't want to do makes me "wish I were dead" or "want to die" or "maybe I should just drive off a bridge instead". No big deal, right?

Not until your 6 year old starts saying it at school when she doesn't want to do her handwriting work, and her teacher calls you, very concerned about her mental state.

*headdesk*



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sprtwrid

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from: sprtwrid
date: May. 15th, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
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i worked really hard on breakin myself of that habit in high school, because my teachers kept trying to expel me for the way i would write all my papers:For example, in health class we had to write a pape about the section of the book we had just finished. We were learning about suicide and the mind set of people who commit it. I asked the teacher if I could write a poem, and he agreed, as long as i got all my info in there. So I wrote a story poem from the point of view of the gun (the gun thinking things like why am i getting blamed, shes the one who pulled the trigger)

A few weeks later i wrote a conspiracy theory for my final exam about nuclear testing and the effects on humans, having gotten permission before hand. the teacher refused to read it, and sent me to the office. The principal read it and gave me an A, but told me to stop getting in trouble writing the way i did :P

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we are what we are. get in the goddamn car.

(no subject)

from: allcleanedout
date: May. 15th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
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oh my god...my daughter's bellybutton is just the same way. she's really tiny, but when she eats a lot, she gets this GIANT stomach, with her little bellybutton poking out, and it's the funniest thing ever. i think i must teach her about her 'timer' when she gets older!!

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sprtwrid

(no subject)

from: sprtwrid
date: May. 15th, 2008 08:39 pm (UTC)
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my kids look like kegs with legs after a big meal.

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In this undiscovered moment....

Absolutely mortifying...

from: your_lifeis_now
date: May. 15th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
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So when my son was 3, I got pregnant with my daughter. As my belly expanded I had to tell him several times, "Yes, honey...I have a baby in my tummy, be patient with me."

So we're in target and there was this woman with a very large, very round behind blocking the aisle in front of us. Alex says, "Mom, be patient with that lady. She has a baby in her butt."

I wanted to die.

Edited at 2008-05-15 03:16 pm (UTC)

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Allison

Re: Absolutely mortifying...

from: a_rowan_dryad
date: May. 15th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
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*Wipes tears away*

OMG - that is perfect!!!!!

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polkafish

Re: Absolutely mortifying...

from: polkafish
date: May. 15th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
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can't type laughing too hard

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Christie: Wife, Step-Mommy, Firefighter

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from: poisoned_ivy07
date: May. 15th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
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"Momma, Daddy killed it (makes chopping motion). Daddy cut its head off. With his knife. It bit me, then Daddy CUT ITS HEAD OFF. He killed it. And you smooshed it in my carpet. It bit me. See??? (shows bee sting)."


She got stung by a bee, I smooshed it with a box. SO came home a few hours later and moved the box and it was still alive so he used his knife to kind of smoosh it some more. Well, she figured Daddy cut its head off. And she would go on and on about this in the store but never mention what "it" was.

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XJESSX

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from: xjessx
date: May. 16th, 2008 06:25 am (UTC)
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I guess this is sort of related.

When my daughter was around 18 months my dad taught her "touchdown" complete with arms held in the air in the touchdown position!

It was cool until we tried going to a church and the people held their arms up in praise. Of course seeing this Riley yells out TOUCHDOWN!!!

omg.

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(no subject)

from: sister_swallow
date: Dec. 14th, 2008 03:21 am (UTC)
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HA! :D

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angel_eyes224

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from: angel_eyes224
date: May. 19th, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
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My daughter stills can't her Fs. The library has that fishtank scene as the screensaver on every single one of their computers. You see where this is going? We walk into the library and she points in the general dorection of the computers, which almost always has at least one person sitting there, and starts yelling, "BISH! Bish Mommy! Mommy Bish!" And I have to reply, "Oh yes, pretty fish. Blue fish and yellow fish and lots of fish. Come on lets go pick out a book."

My favortie so far happened just about a month ago. We were in the grocery store. Now, when we are in the store she points stuff out to me and I add to what she said. She says, "Ball Mommy" and I say, "A red ball." So we're doing our shopping and I notice a little girl who is just precious. Huge dark eyes, straight dark hair cut in a chin legth bob with straight across bangs. Dark skin. Riley had not noticed her yet. So we start to go past her and Riley gets all excited and points to her and says, "Look Mommy! A DORA! A DORA Mommy!" And i had to go around the corner really fast because I knew she just wasn't going to stop until I said something about the Dora.

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